As many of my followers know, I’m not against reading or writing on the racy side.
Saying that, a lot of it is just plain awful. Firstly, I would be more impressed if it was written with good English, with a plot and colorful, if not competent, grammar. Personally, I’d like a little humor, too, since love can be a funny thing. I can take depressing subjects, but it has really got to hit me in the gut.
Secondly, the writing must be sensual. Seduce me with your prose, and the content is more likely to take me where I want to go. I don’t read your writing to indulge YOUR fantasies. I want you to take me where I might not ordinarily go on my own. To be effective, your writing must be a springboard to my inner desires. Erotic writing need not contain sex, if you inspire me. Obsess about the line of his jaw or the curve of her hips. What does it do to you? Take me to that place. Don’t just go there without me.
Speaking of taking me to that place, invite me to come along. Write in third person, or it least in past tense. First person present is too immediate and mechanical. It doesn’t give you any time to wax poetic. All you can think of is the position of your or his cock. Frankly, I just don’t care what is happening. I want to know what is perceived. Dig deep into your soul and find that nugget of truth. Through your truth, I might take flight. A man doesn’t get a hard on because of what is happening, but what he hopes might happen. A woman is the same way. Sex is about potential, about hope, and about fantasy. Who are you really thinking about when you have sex with your partner? You may be next to your partner when you lie in bed, but who do you imagine on top of you, touching you? How do they touch you? How does it make you feel? What does their scent do to you? What do they taste like?
Must go. More to come.