What am I doing?
I’m still wearing those towels and drinking a brew.
I’m a few days ahead on ‘RM, but I’m pretty unmotivated right now. I published my anthology and am still waiting for my first sale of any sort. Well, I ordered one for myself at the author’s rate. I suppose I could have ordered one at the full rate, just to make my numbers exist.
I told you so.
Somewhere in my brain that phrase lingers. People don’t buy your books, not unless you have a major publisher, or unless you are willing to prostitute yourself. As I have said before, I value my privacy, and in fact my job depends on it. Unless I’m selling thousands of copies, I won’t be able to quit that job, and I probably won’t sell thousands of copies until I quit that job, if then.
Promotion, marketing … a face. I suppose I could do a little of the first two, but that last one, I can’t. Now now. Sell a few copies. It’s called vanity publishing.
I’m vain. I thought I could sell a book.
Hey Anne! I’d buy it! Where are you now? I know it isn’t a novel, but I’m hardly going to serialize a novel … well, I’m doing just that. Obviously, I would give it a couple or three major rewrites before I published it. That’s why The Cult of Hahn isn’t going up in this space or at TCoA. For what it’s worth, I probably won’t consider publishing it until my followers number in the thousands, which probably means never. I’ve been working on it over a decade, and there is (at present) no motivation to finish it.
Right now, I will have to live with the dozen or so that read ‘Round Midnight each day for self-confirmation. That said, I don’t need the affirmation, I just need to write, and do it regularly. Maybe someone will discover my 8-10 novel-length forays into relevance after I’m gone.
Right now, I am not relevant as a writer.
Perhaps, I’m not relevant altogether. Maybe I am just kidding myself. Yes, there are a handful of people out there in WordPress-land and in the WritersCafe that have time for me and tell me as much. I do appreciate it very much.
Right now, I’ve decided to leave the new writing to ‘Round Midnight and re-post a series from my early WritersCafe days on EJO, and blog my personal thoughts here. I posted that series when I had some relevance on the WC. I really was one of the top 5 writers there in their ranking system when at any time you looked, there would be over 500 writers logged on. The place itself has lost its relevance. At this moment, there are 18 writers logged on. So, I’m irrelevant in an irrelevant venue. At one time, I had nearly 500 followers there, now many of the 280 that I have left haven’t logged on in a decade. Anyway, it is called My Seven Deadly Sins, and most of the chapters were well-received on the WC. I’ve put them in a different order here. Not sure why, maybe to hide the one that people didn’t like. I’m not sure I do now, but I’m leaving it as is, because I am past that now.
Time to finish my brew and make some dinner.