A fumble in the jungle

9 of SWORDS Cruelty. (inverted)

Well, the inversion is a mixed blessing. It can mean anxiety or stress, or nightmares, although not as bad as if the card were upright.

I picked a card today, hoping that it would help me veer away from my reminiscences of the past few days. I went full-bodied on my haiku for today: Heels over head.

I’m still struggling. I didn’t have any nightmares, so probably anxiety is the word of the day. I start teaching next week and one of my classes is still in its infancy. This week is full of meetings, and that is cramping my style. My main summer project is barely started, and I’ve had some freelance work come in, which I haven’t begun at all.

I’m the procrastination queen.

And I’ve just heard a rumble of thunder. I need to go somewhere in about 15 minutes to pick someone up, and that could be a wet affair. Well, it isn’t an affair, but it could be wet.

I do like it wet, but that will be 90 and wet, so it might be sultry. I’m not sure I want to be soaked where I’m going, though. I  just had a look at the radar, and it’s a small storm. Something much larger will pass through later on. I should be home by then.

Blah, blah, blah. I just saw a pair of scantily-clad runners pass by. Maybe I should indulge in a fantasy in a storm of a pair of runners thrown together in a hot and heavy coupling under shelter. Or maybe there is a blast of thunder that throws them off the road into each other’s arms, and since the rain is pelting down, and nobody can see them, they have a quick fumble in the grass.

Yeah, well, I might have written something like that a few years ago, but it seems so cliche now.

Turning the page

I’m just poking my head in while I’m on the road, seeing old friends, who are part of my extended family. I went out for a run this morning, my first in about 10 days, testing out my ankle. It still hurts, and I will probably have it looked at when I return home. My friend wants to run 10K tomorrow, and I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. The distance is fine; the ankle is questionable.

It is supposed to be raining outside (like it was all day yesterday), but it is bright and sunny. I’m in the English countryside and all is well – until I return home next week. Reality will hit, and I’ll have to start preparing for next semester. My summer work isn’t finished, and I have so much to do before heading home that I probably won’t get any of that work done.

My haiku for today is dredged from my past, the haiku is new, the past is past: Design fault.

Today’s card:

Prince of Cups

This is often an intense and creative person. He can be turbulent and moody, as well as secretive. In this case, he is probably the subject of my haiku. I’ve been thinking back about him. He’s physically gone, long gone, but I still think about him, and I shouldn’t. It’s not good for me. It depresses me on a day that should be socially bright and sunny.

I’m going to turn the page now and engage with my hosts.


adult-attractive-beautiful-2119366 (1)

Photo by Bruno Thethe from Pexels

I had a burst of creativity yesterday, due to a dream I had the night before last. It was a bit fuzzy, I was with two horn players that I know from way back, or maybe I was one of them, and there was another person. It was strange in that I felt like I was two different people in the dream. Someone was in danger. That may have been me, but I refused to believe it. There was a drone in the area. Perhaps it was about to attack. There was certainly a small one watching us. The building we were near was on a cliff. One of the horn players lunged at me and we went toppling down the cliff, but about halfway down, she grabbed my hand and pulled me around through an opening. Inside, there was a staircase of parallel ovals that let to a room where we were safe.

I started writing Breathless but it became Forever, which is related to the dream. I can’t get the dream out of my head, so there may be more to come.

I finally went for another run today. My ankle is still bothering me. It didn’t hurt any more, but it never did loosen up. I’m not sure how to proceed with it, other than to wait and see how it reacts.

Today’s haiku: alone among

Today’s card:

3 of Cups. Abundance.

This is another place where my sources differ. One says celebration, friendship, collaborations. Another indicates fulfillment of love, joy, and spiritual fertility, but it implies that this abundance should be distrusted.

My take on it is that 3’s are usually good. “Good things come in threes,” “Third time’s a charm.” While 2 indicates a close relationship like love, but three is more open, like friendship. Three is also a spiritual number, so I could agree with that.

How does it relate to me today? I don’t really see it. I’m going to the store to buy, then I’ll settle in front of the tennis for the duration. Maybe it will be inspiring or a transcendent experience.



Photo by Dương Nhân from Pexels

I’m having a lowercase day. I want to go out and play, but it is raining, a misty, drenching, all-consuming rain that chills you right down to your bones, even on a warm day, which it isn’t. Today’s haiku: Cloud

A tree is down in our garden at home, close to the house. I’m waiting for word on whether there is any damage. They have had a lot of storms there lately. I have decided not to sweat it (if I could in cold, wet Blighty). We have a man who can deal with it.

I didn’t sleep well again last night. I was awake (mostly) until the dawn chorus, which is about 3:30 am here. Then I slept heavily until after 9 am.

A lot of the followers of my sites are bloggers about blogging. Apparently, I’m breaking all the rules. I should be giving tips, and titling my blogs something like: 10 ways to the heart of a man, or 3 things to do when the lights go out.

Fuck it. I would rather give enigmatic titles that seduce you into reading or playful titles that trick you into engaging. Granted, only a few people are engaging, and I don’t have thousands of followers. Frankly, I would just rather have a handful that truly engage, perhaps those who inspire me.

I’m also supposed to add a load of tags to make it searchable. Thus far, I have found the most effective to be sex, travel, cooking, blogging, and running. By far, the most successful is “sex”, which is fine with me, but if you want me to follow you back, I want to see quirky, sexy, engaging writing (fiction or poetry), or artwork, photos. Seduce me with your art.

I need to be seduced. Seduce me. You know what I like.

2 of Swords. Peace.

Balance and equilibrium. I feel oddly calm today. All those things that I should be doing seem far away today. I’ll keep it that way as long as I can, and maybe that will leave me open to inspiration.

Come on, seduce me. I know you want to. Engage with me.

Me, obscured by clouds


Photo by Sourav Mishra from Pexels

I’ve arrived. I wish I could say that in a more figurative sense, yet my arrival is more a physical manifestation of placing my feet on the ground at my destination. While it is great to be at my home away from home, almost everything went wrong on my way here. I won’t go into it all, but sitting on the tarmac in a jet during a tornado warning wasn’t a particularly good start.

Why did they let us board?

I can’t answer that.

I’m here, and that’s all that matters. I took my jet-lagged, aching body out for a run this morning, hoping to see some old friends, but none were out. There must be a race somewhere today. I limped through 7 miles, and forgot the brilliant haiku that I composed while I waited to fall asleep last night. The one I posted is about half of it, but I can’t remember the rest. Find it here. It’s inspired by a poem by a friend of mine, whom I miss, but I take it in a completely different direction.

4 of Disks: Power. Stability, security, gain.

That’s not at all what I’m feeling today. Perhaps that is meant to be inverted, which would mean fear of loss, insecurity, avarice, greed. I certainly felt powerless during my journey, so I guess just the fact that I’m still standing is a step up. Perhaps this power is still in my future. Perhaps I’ll derive that power from the moon tonight. After all, I am the Priestess, and the moon is my power. I doubt I’ll see it, though, as rain is likely.

Dazed and confused

woman wearing smartphone armband and blue earphones

Photo by Frank Cone on Pexels.com

As usual, I’m sitting here procrastinating, about to cook dinner – well, reheat leftovers from yesterday’s Indian takeaway, which I desperately needed. I was supposed to go out with a friend, but she backed out at the last minute.

As I’ve mentioned before, my office window has a view of one of the favorite running and walking routes in my city. I can watch people go by anonymously, and there are a few regulars that catch my – today two women, or to be more precise a girl and a woman. I have seen the girl run or walk by for years – in both directions. She is young (16-20), fit and dressed like a serious runner, but why does she walk here? I’m on the relatively flat final approach to the top of a high hill. I could see walking on the way up, it’s a steep climb, but actually there is a short downhill section before this flat spot. Surely, it’s an ideal place to run and recover, as opposed to walking and tightening up.

I’ve wondered for a long time, but lately I’ve seen a woman who I often see running on the track at the gym, where I’ve been running lately because it is a softer surface, and my body has been complaining. I think she runs about 3-5 miles, usually at a faster pace than me, except when I’m in the last half mile, but I’m usually running more like 7 miles. She, too, walks on this route in both directions. Again, she is dressed to run. Of all the times I’ve seen her here, I think I’ve only seen her running once. Surely, she is up to the hill.

I’ve thought about it before, but seeing both of them on the same blistering hot humid day brought it more to the fore of my thoughts. I would say that I never walk there, but that is because it is at both the beginnings and endings of my runs. I run a loop which includes a lot of hills, and I confess, I do walk the steepest of them. (They aren’t even running/walking the steepest part.) Anyway, I wouldn’t walk here because I still have the goal of the top of the hill, and then I would want to run down on the return.

It’s a head-scratcher.

I’m writing about this because I don’t want to look at the results of the EU elections. The UK didn’t send me an absentee ballot for some reason. (I’m supposed to get one automatically.) Is it because I’m in a pro-remain demographic and my constituency is pro-Brexit? It looks like the conservatives are getting hammered, but the Brexit Party is getting too many votes for my liking. At least it is a proportional vote, so the remain-leaning parties still outnumber them at this point, although the final tallies are yet to come. I can’t wait to see the Brexiteers get whitewashed in Scotland!

Spam and stupidity

“Have a passion for relates to the well known anxiety towards the existence as well development of that which we tend to true love.”  ~ Damen (Nike Free V4)

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Well maybe I could. I received this comment on my Cult site today, and I just couldn’t tell whether it was a legitimate comment from an illiterate or some spam with badly babelfished English. I’m not sure how that comment would encourage me to obtain “free” Nike shoes from them. Yes, I would love free Nikes (since I am an obsessive runner), but I would prefer they weren’t stolen, or I wouldn’t have to travel to Nigeria to pick them up.

I’ve been tempted to take someone up on a Nigeria 419 scam just to see how far they would go before I put myself in a dangerous situation. I’m not stupid enough to step on a plane to Lagos just to be kidnapped trying to launder their money, but a friend that I have worked for (who runs a small business) once took an order for 1000 memory chips, just to see if they would send a cheque. They did, and it was obviously a fake, probably printed out on a colour printer. It had a real signature, but his bank just refused it outright, and charged him a £15 fee. He said it was worth it to satisfy his curiosity, but he’ll never do it again – cleared funds before shipping from then on. Of course, he never even purchased the product to send out.

I just don’t understand these spammers … or from Babelfish, via Spanish, Greek, French, German and back to English: I do not understand what this spammer …

What do they get out of it? Out of millions of spam emails, one dumb sucker might reply? I know just what Ebeneezer Scrooge would say about them, surely something about reducing the surplus population.

Anyway, its “Small Business Saturday” and lunchtime, so it’s time to dive back into some surplus Turkey and watch some college football.

Or not.