Today was another rewrite day. I had such a horrible day yesterday preparing for my online classes. I needed a break, and that usually means some writing.
I wrote about half an episode of ‘RM, and I left Cassie standing in mid-air about 70 feet above 1800 New York City to have some lunch. That’s when I realized it was all crap. What came next is now posted. (70. Where am I? When am I?) I’ll leave you to make of it what you can. It’s a little sacrilegious. Sorry. Two in a row.
I seem to get that way when I am listening the the music of Arvo Pärt. It’s supposed to be reverent and inspirational, but I just find it terribly sad. I embedded his Magnificat at the end. You’ll see why.
Maybe I’m still in mourning. I do miss my father, but I’ve been speaking to my mother every second or third day. I can’t be with her under the current circumstances. She seems to be getting on with her life better than the rest of us. At some point, it will hit her, and the longer it takes, the harder it will be. For now, she is obsessing about getting her financial life in order, getting a grip on all the bills, the in-comings, the out-goings. That’s all she seems to want to talk about. When do I pay this? What account is it coming from? Do I send them a check? At some point, she will remember that there is more to life. That one of her daughters is dying of cancer, and they will probably cancel her surgery next month because it is “elective.”
When did life-saving surgery become elective?
One of her closest friends, my brother’s God mother, has had her valve replacement surgery postponed twice. She is her husband’s carer, and he won’t last long without her.
Now this is becoming depressing.
I’m done here.